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October 14, 2016

A Letter to YOU from an Adoptive Family

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It didn’t take us long to realize this letter was actually written to you.

With all our hearts to the Lifesong family–

We brought our sweet boy home forever last December and arrived in Texas on Christmas Eve, after praying for a solid year that he would be home in time for Christmas 2015. What a journey it has been over the last 9 months!

As with all adoptions, there are many things families cannot predict, and our story is no different. We had prepared, read, attended conferences and spent time with adoptive families discussing attachment and bonding, anticipating this to be the most challenging aspect to our adoption journey. Although there was a definite and deep grieving period for Titus after leaving the foster parents that had cared for him from the time he was 8 months old until we took custody at 3 years, his bonding to our family has been amazingly smooth with very few challenges that many other adoptive families experience! We have spent so much time thanking God for this miracle and what He has done knitting the hearts of our new family together! Titus is such a loving child, lavishing hugs, kisses, cuddles, and laughter on just about anyone he meets!

Our challenge came in a different form than what we were expecting, but we have seen the Lord’s goodness and grace resting on us each and every day.

Soon after taking custody, we realized that Titus was different than most children and pretty significantly developmentally delayed. After several months of adjusting and different evaluations and appointments with Specialists, Titus was diagnosed with Autism in April of this year. Although this reshaped our expectations, God is so good and has provided resources to get him the intervention he needed and he is thriving now! He was accepted into a special preschool that focuses on Early Childhood Intervention, while maintaining a connection and bonding-based environment. Here, he is receiving speech, occupational, physical, and music therapy and loves school so much!

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We cannot express the depth of our gratitude for the generosity shown to our family through the gift of Lifesong and how profound the impact has been on this little boy, our son. I would love to share a piece of this amazing, God-sized puzzle with you all that He has reminded my heart of on every single hard day:

Our oldest child, Judah, was born with a physical disability that affects his heart and upper extremities, so when we began our adoption journey, we were hoping to find a child with a heart defect or a child with a limb difference since that was our “comfort zone” of sorts. Our heart was to choose a child that others may feel unprepared to parent or intimidated by their special need. The day we got “the” call from our agency saying they’d like us to look at the file of a child with a cardiac defect, I knew he was our son! As my husband, Colby, and I opened the file with excitement, I was puzzled to find that this child had a very mild, asymptomatic heart defect. Colby was resolved that this was our child and was immediately ready to accept his file and move forward. I wrestled with God, struggled through the two-week window that our agency gave us to look over the file. How could we ask for a special needs child and God decide to give us a “perfect,” healthy one?! We wanted the child that no one else was interested in! In the end, I felt a peace that he was, indeed, meant to be ours, and trusted the Lord had a plan.

My heart knew immediately when we began to see signs of special needs in Titus, that the Lord had answered our prayer long before we would ever know. He had given us the child we had prayed for!

This journey has been hard, and filled will grief on many days, but I look back and I can honestly say I have never doubted that He was chosen to be our son since before the foundation of the world.

Seeing the intimate care and intentionality with which our great Father in Heaven saw and knew Titus, and intentionally placed him in our home blows me away. It pushes me to see the Gospel in such a raw, personal way that I have never been able to before: I see so much of myself in Titus. We have seen the “real life” version of the Shepherd leaving the flock of 99 to bring the one little lamb home, and our lives will never be the same.

Many days, I think of where he would have ended up if the Lord had not placed him in our home and I’m
so broken at the thought of it! I think often of his birth mom and how proud she would be if she could see him today, growing leaps and bounds and being loved and accepted for who he was created to be! How comforted she would be to see how far her sacrificial gift of life and love has come and what a wonderful boy she brought into the world!

Again, thank you for investing in the Kingdom through the ministry of adoption in our family. There is absolutely no way we could have completed our adoption without the grant given by your organization.

Thanks to your generosity and the generosity of your donors, we were able to answer, “Here am I!” when we heard the Lord calling us on the journey of adoption. That gift is not one of monetary value, it is one of eternal value, and words could never be enough to show our gratitude.

With all the love of Christ our Anchor,
Colby and Ellen

We are thankful for everyone who advocates and donates on behalf of adoption. You are doing kingdom work.

Check out 5 simple ways to become an adoption-friendly church.

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