Let’s be honest. Motherhood is a tough job … harder than anyone ever warned us it would be.
Ever notice how your fellow mom friends strategically failed to communicate the realities of sleepless nights, potty training, or mom brain? And let’s not even start with mom guilt. It’s motherhood’s best-kept secret.
As an adoptive mom, I’ll just say it: From the moment you sign the dotted line on those adoption papers, your life changed. But 5 years out, I also have good news: It’s worth it.
3 thoughts to consider this Mother’s Day (courtesy of my mom friends who finally started talking)–
1. Motherhood is forever, but the seasons are temporary.
Ecclesiastes 3 begins with the words, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” So, too, there are seasons of motherhood, and specifically seasons for the mom who adopted. You may wrestle with a season of guilt over raising the child born to another woman, or you may struggle with grief over not giving birth. You may battle the issues that accompany bonding or birth parents. (Or you may experience different seasons altogether!)
But do not assume these stages are forever. Feelings are fleeting. Truth is forever. Emotions have a way of wreaking havoc on the heart of weary moms. When you are tempted to be discouraged say it out loud if necessary, “This is a season.”
2. You are loved.
Whether your child is able to verbally communicate his love for you or not, know this much: God sees you and He cares about your situation. He brought you to your child in a remarkable way and did not leave you to parent your child alone. Isaiah 40:11 says that God tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.
God loves you with an everlasting love and is committed to walking every step of this parenting journey with you. Consider this: Since God loves the fatherless, how much must it matter to Him that you loved and adopted a child close to His heart?
God sees your sacrificial love as you battle for your children.
–Sandeep Thomas, National Speaker
3. You are going to be OK.
Your insecurities about being a mom are not the result of adopting a child. They are the consequences of caring deeply about the child God placed in your care. Each time you are tempted to be overwhelmed with fears or failures (because all of us in Club Mom have plenty of both), remind yourself that you will be OK. How can I be certain of this?–
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
Any inadequacy you identify in your life is really only an opportunity to lean harder on Jesus. And isn’t that the goal?–to rely wholeheartedly on Him? Thankfully, He has given us everything we need for life and godliness.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mama. Whether this Sunday brings you gifts or guilt, know God holds you tightly in the palm of His hand.
Trisha White Priebe is the communications coordinator for Lifesong for Orphans, and is an adoptee and an adoptive mom. You can connect with her here on the blog, on the Facebook page, or on Twitter. She blogs personally here.
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I often told my son’s adoptive mother how much I loved her and was thankful…