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July 14, 2017

Adoption After Haunting Days of Doubt | Family Friday

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When we stepped into our season of adoption, we were a family of 3 with a recent experience of pregnancy loss–and hearts that had been amplified towards the fight for the unborn because of it.

Adoption wasn’t a way to get a baby for our family, but a desire and hope to be used by God as an answer for another. Sounds heroic and amazing, but we’re not. He is. He’s the heart-changer and passion-giver.

But when we got into the reality of infant domestic adoption, we quickly felt out of place as we were surrounded by beautiful sweet couples struggling with the painful road of infertility. They were trusting God to grow their family through adoption, and I had many moments of doubt as I feared getting in their way.

I also quickly learned another reality that brought more haunting days of doubt. As we watched multiple babies be placed with forever families, and as we had more chats with our agency, we realized that these amazingly brave birthmothers wanted more than to solely place their child for adoption. They wanted to bless a family who couldn’t have their own while doing so. Of course they did! I would have too.

So where did that leave us?

I would question God often, facing doubt for what I strongly believed He was calling us to do. I questioned how it could possibly even happen, how we could fit into one of His adoption stories knowing these realities. Those were the times He would always show up, encouraging me in the personable ways only He could. And so we kept on trucking and trusting.

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God provided for Matthew and Ashley’s adoption with a matching grant and a Both Hands fundraiser.

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When we were told about a baby at the hospital, along with the details of the heartbreaking situation, I believe deep down I knew this was our baby. It was quite a unique situation compared to others we watched our agency encounter, and happened to be one that directly spoke to our own driving passions for the journey. Babies conceived through abuse are often aborted (although it only accounts for -1% of abortions), and our birthmother had many reasons to “justify” having one.

But she fought hard to choose the less convenient route, with unthinkable obstacles to face.

And she said when she saw our family profile book, she knew we were the ones she wanted for her son.

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As the reality of hearing this set in, I suddenly knew something too. I knew God–knew He orchestrated all of these details–knew He used the sin of man to turn it into something beautiful. I knew that He called us to the journey for this very baby. I knew He allowed us to partake in His fight for the unborn through it. And though I doubted often, I now experientially knew that what may seem impossible to me is so very much possible for Him.

Thank you for sharing your story! Thank you, also, for persistently pursuing what you were certain was God’s direction for your family. We celebrate this joyful addition to your family. To God be the glory!


Be God’s answer to a family’s prayer.

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