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Latest News Tag: Grief

May 5, 2017

Why Adoption is Supposed to be Hard

Dock

My wife and I have been home from China with Jeremiah for 6 weeks, and when people ask me how we’re all doing I usually say … “We’re alive, and that’s our only goal right now, so good I think.” We could safely say that this has been the most stretching and overwhelming two months of our lives, and tears have been plentiful in the Clements household. Kristi and I have always been staggered by how clearly adoption is a picture of the gospel. It’s no accident that Paul uses the imagery of adoption multiple times to describe what God did for us–that we were spiritual orphans, completely hopeless and as good as dead–and God adopted us into His family through the costly blood of His Son. He chose to take on immense suffering on our behalf, so that we could be reconciled to Him. So when we were dating, engaged and first married, … Continue reading

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March 3, 2017

The Grit and Grace of a Failed Adoption

failed adoption

Our first adoption failed in-country. We found out the boy we had cared for over a 5-month period, who we had been introduced to as “Mama” and “Papa” and who had met our parents and family members who visited us in Nicaragua would be returning to his grandparents. The struggle went on for another month as we tried to figure out the reasoning behind the decision. We prayed, we wrote letters, we explored every avenue we could find to keep him. As the truth unfolded, it became clear that we would have to give back this child we had adopted into our hearts and lives. It was heart wrenching and the hardest thing either of us has ever had to do. Sleep was our only rest, and the morning brought with it the weight of our responsibility and grief. Yet (and with God there is always a “Yet”) as grief … Continue reading

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August 24, 2016

How to Handle the Grief You Feel for Your Child

running

You’ve probably been down this road before: Your child suffers from extreme depression, hurts others, or makes decisions that are against everything your family holds true. It causes unimaginable grief. How do you handle the extreme emotions you feel, while making sure your children are taken care of? I stand in my kitchen, early on a Monday morning, coffee in hand, feeling sad. It’s been a tough 8 months. We thought bringing our son home from residential treatment would be a good thing. It’s been an uphill climb ever since. But not just between us and him. Our other children have gone through secondary trauma. Our younger children are on edge all the time, and another child deals with major depression. So I stand in my kitchen, as morning dawns, and grieve. I grieve my son’s behavior. I grieve his birth mother’s choice to use drugs and drink throughout her pregnancy … Continue reading

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